Friday, January 06, 2012
His Special Story
I had a very special moment with Owen before bedtime tonight. He asked me to make up a story, and I told him the story of his adoption. I told it just the way I always do, but this time he gazed into my eyes the entire time and even asked questions. He smiled at times and really seemed to listen to every word and it seemed to make him happy hearing it this time. In the past, at times, he didn't want to hear anything about ever not being with us. Tonight was different in so many ways. The connection we had as I told the story almost brought tears to my eyes. We have a very strong connection as mommy and son already, but it's always been so hard for Owen to focus for a long time on eyes while listening at the same time. He gets so distracted so easily. Tonight it was just the two of us, about 6" apart, staring deeply into each other's eyes, smiling and laughing and talking about his story. I will never forget this moment.
Owen loves being a big brother and having siblings so so much. I know there must be times that he wishes he had more of me though. He shares my time and attention and affection so well, but we also both cherish the bits of time at naptime and bedtime and outings on weekends that we have with just the two of us. I adore our sweet boy and know God has big plans for him. We will do everything we can to help him be anything he wants to be, despite his ADHD and Sensory Integration challenges. He is so smart, so sweet, so thoughtful and loving, I just know he's going to do big things. I'm so thankful that we were chosen by God to be his parents, that we are the ones who get to make up his bedtime stories and tell him over and over again about how he became our son.
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18 Comments:
Owen is such a cutie pie!
He's looking so grown up! I've been reading your blog ever since you went to fetch him from Russia, and I went back the other day and re-read the whole story of your journey to Owen (it took AGES!!). It's amazing to see again just how far he has come. You have such a lovely family and I always enjoy reading your updates! Happy New Year to you all!
What a great photo. He is just so lovely.
Loved reading this sweet story. We plan on telling our sweet son about his adoption but don't really know when and how. When did you all tell Owen the first time?
Thank you!
What a precious boy!!!
This inspires me so much! Thanks for writing out the intimate details of your life, so that hearts like mine can be convicted and touched! What a blessing you are to your sweet family!
Hi, Betsy!
With our children who were adopted, we have always made their being adopted a part of our dAily lives. We don't dwell on it, but we have pictures of each of them where they were before they came home, picture books of the first time we met them, held them, etc, and I love to tell them about where they were born and how out of all the children and grown-ups in the world, God chose us to be together as a family! They love to ask questions about where they were born, who took care of them, what foods they liked, what toys they played with, etc. I have even started telling Bennett as I put him to sleep about his special story. For example, for Owen..."Once upon a time in a place far away from here on the other side of the Earth, lived a tiny little boy. He lived in a big building made of bricks with lots of other children. The children were all waiting for their mommies and daddies to adopt them and take them home. While the little boy was there, special ladies took care of them. On the other side of the world in America, there were a man and woman who loved each other so much. There names were Adrienne and Jim. They got married and bought a house and dreamed of having children to share their love with. They started praying to God and asking Him to please send them a child. One day, God told them there was a very special little boy waiting just for them! He was in a place on the other side of the world called Russia! They were so excited and couldn't wait to hold their little boy and give him lots of hugs and kisses! They were so excited to play with him and teach him so many new things too! ........
Then I tell him about going on a big airplane to Russia, the people who helped us, what we took to play with him, what he was like, etc. We talk about coming home together, how he cried on the airplane bc he wasn't feeling well, how so many friends were waiting to meet him at the airport, etc. Then I talk to him about things we did when he was a baby at home...
I loved watching his face light up remembering things we did when he was 2, 3, 4... We haven't explained to him exactly how he came into the world because he shuts down when we start talking about it and wants to stop talking. Lily and L. man are all about their stories too. They don't know all their details yet either, but they know they were adopted, that they lived somewhere else before here, who took care of them as babies, etc. They are all getting closer to ages where they are starting to be more curious about how babies enter the world so the biological parents talk will come with time, probably sooner than later. We have always been open with them but also only give them as much as they can handle at a time. They let us know when they reach that limit. ;-)
Hope this helps!!
PS Because Bennett was in the hospital for 7 mos after birth, he seems adopted to them too. I have told them that he wasn't adopted but did live in a hospital for a long time before he came home just like they lived in ____ before coming home.
Owen is so precious. God blessed your journey.
Loved the story! I started telling Grace "her story" at around 18 months. I still tell it and she loves it. She fills in words when I pause :) She is only 2 1/2 and doesn't really get it yet, but when I show her blogs of other children from Russia, she says, "My Russia!"
Grace also has sensory issues and I suspect ADHD. Grace also is a constant fidget :) I related to the part when you said Owen doesn't usually look in your eyes for long. Grace makes great eye contact except when I try to talk to her. She looks and then looks away, etc. Not giving up!!!
I love that God knits families together is such unique ways. What a special thing for you to be able sneak some time in w/ Owen.
I know how much you treasure it (b/c I feel that same way) and I know that Owen feeds on it, even though he's a marvelous big brother.
I remember the way my daughter said her birth country,
"Bo- mania" when she was a tiny little thing. I always showed her pictures of where she lived before. When she was old enough to ask if she grew in my tummy, I told her she grew in Zahara's tummy. That was enough at the time. The need for info came gradually and I got used to it gradually.
I think it's sweet that the kids think Bennett was adopted too. Everyone has a different story.
Thank you for sharing this. I have a four year old son who was adopted and I am clueless as to when or how to start the discussion. A story is a great way...can't wait to craft one with him :)
What an incredibly touching story this is. Your son looks like such a sweet and adorable boy. I'm happy you were able to share this together.
Bottom line. God brought Owen to you.
Enjoy.
:)
your post brought tears to my eyes. I have been following your blog for years and can feel the love you have for all of your children. we just received our referral for our daughter from S.Korea and would love it if you had any tips to share.
that is so special!
It was so great to hear how Owen is getting along. I have been following your blog since he first came home. Thanks so much for sharing!
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