It has been 3 years and 4 months...

since I last hugged this special friend. Leaving New Jersey with empty arms in 2008 was not what we had expected, but out of that experience came a friendship with Joy and the adoption of our precious daughter Lily Soojung.

Reuniting with Joy at Created for Care brought us both to tears! I'm so happy to share this weekend with her!

IKEA!

Post written Friday, March 23

We don't have an IKEA store near our house so I was super excited when my friend MaryLeigh said we were going to go on the way to Created for Care.

Something I have wanted to get for Owen for a long time is a hanging seat/swing/cozy seat for our playroom or his room. I have looked online and found some great ones, but they were so expensive! When I saw one for $34 at IKEA, I grabbed it! My kids are going to freak out with excitement!!

I wish I had taken a picture of it. I will when Jim hangs it!

I also snagged some awesome art smocks/bibs for like $4!!

Our next stop was the Korean market called Hmart. We had a great lunch of Korean and Vietnamese food.

Now it is time to go to the Lodge!

Can you tell I am excited?!?!!?!!?

Atlanta, here we come!

I got SIX full hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, and it. was. so. nice.

At 6:00 last night, I hopped in a van with 4 special women who share my love for adoption and kids with special needs, and we started our journey to Atlanta, Georgia.

An hour in a half later, we were still trying to get out of town, and we couldn't help but laugh about how easy it is to be forgetful when you have kids "helping" you pack.

We decided to stay at a hotel about an hour outside of Atlanta, and I'm so glad we did. We were able to get 6 hours of GREAT sleep, and it was so nice.

Now we are on our way to Atlanta!

IKEA and Hmart here we come!

It's that time again! Who wants to win a $50 Visa Gift Card?!?

It's that time again. Who wants to win a $50 Visa Gift Card?!? BlogHer and Olay are teaming together for another great sweepstakes. 

I was one of the lucky women asked to review Olay's Ultra Moisture Body Wash, and I'm excited to tell everyone what I thought about it. I have used Oil of Olay products for years, including Oil of Olay body washes, and my experience with this product was just as great as my experiences with other Olay products. 

Did you know Olay's Ultra Moisture Body Wash has a JAR of moisturizer in every bottle? A Jar??!!?? I didn't! I received my body wash just before I left to go to the Blissdom Conference, so I took it with me. I forgot about it the first day, but grabbed it the next morning when I realized I really should shave my legs before I wore a skirt, and I had forgotten my shaving cream.

Well, as expected, I loved it. I actually could tell it had a ton of moisturizer in the little bit I used. I have very sensitive skin so I was curious to see what happened shaving with it, but it worked great! I didn't get any razor burn, and my legs were left very soft and moisturizing. I actually skipped my lotion and got out the door a little faster than usual. 

The scent I tried was Shea Butter and, though I loved the moisturizing aspect, I wasn't a huge fan of the shea butter scent, but that's just a personal preference. I will try Olay Body Wash in a different scent next time. But in the meantime I will keep using my free sample bottle! 

I love that this body wash is very moisturizing and could actually take a few minutes off my morning routine, working like a wash and a lotion at the same time. 

What are some of the ways you simplify your routine? 
Leave me a comment for a chance to win a $50 Visa Gift Card!


Rules:


No duplicate comments.


You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:


a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post
c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry


This giveaway is open to U.S. Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.


The Official Rules are available here.
This sweepstakes runs from 3/20 - 4/17


Be sure to visit the Olay Body Wash page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!


While we’re on the subject of looking good, you might want to check out the “Looking Your Best” posts in the Life Well Lived section of BlogHer.com. There are some great tips and expert posts!

Flowers

As we were driving home from taking Jim to work today, Lily said out of the blue, "Mommy, when I grow big, I go to work and you stay home, and I will bring flowers to you, TWO flowers to you from the grocery store."


Sweet sweet girl. I'm so proud to be her mommy.

Making Progress!

Bennett went to the pulmonary and nutrition clinic this morning, and his team was so pleased with his progress!

He has

-been completely off oxygen for 2 months

-been able to discontinue 6 of his 12 medications

-decreased from 4 to 3 tube feedings a day

-gained over a pound

and

-grown over an inch!

Go Bennett Go!

We are so thankful for answered prayers of healing for our sweet boy!

6 Things You Don't Know

I'm really going through phases with my writing lately. I will start a post and then delete it, and that isn't like me because I'm typically I'm a put it all out there and hit Publish kind of blogger. I think stress has been getting to me. 


I had an amazing weekend at the Blissdom conference 2 weeks ago, and after being totally overwhelmed by it all at first, I came home with so many ideas ready to spring into action. Then life resumed as normal and all my ideas were put aside for the time being. Doctors' appointments, therapies, and the daily routine took over once again, and I found myself searching for words when I sat down to type a post this past week.


I had an emotional week, and I think the stress and emotions I was feeling really blocked my ability to come up with a post! 


My car quit running again, we've been inside the house most of the week, and I've just been worn out. 


At times, as a mother of kids with special needs, it all comes crashing down emotionally at once. The tears hit and they just keep on coming, and it happens at times when I least expect it. 


I read a post online yesterday and thought I'd share it today. It expressed so much of what I've been feeling. I am not a single mother as this author is, but I do parent alone a LOT because my sweet hubby works so much to support our family. 


If you have a child or children with special needs, I hope reading this speaks to you as well. As alone as we may feel at times, we're not. There are other mothers out there who are battling the same emotions, the same hardships and challenges that come with raising a child with special needs. 


It's hard, but it's also a very precious gift. 


Maria Lin's original post can be found on huffingtonpost.com HERE, and I pasted it below as well. 


6 Things You Don't Know About a Special Needs Parent Posted: 03/ 9/2012 6:21 pm by Maria Lin, Editor in Chief, LearnVest 


About 6 million kids in America receive special education, according to the U.S. Department of Education. One out of every 10 children under the age of 14 has some type of special need, which includes any physical, cognitive, or medical disability, or chronic or life-threatening illness. 


My 3 year-old son Jacob is one of them. 


He has a disorder of the 18th Chromosome. The 18th Chromosome has various named disorders, including Ring 18 and the more well-known Trisomy 18 (which affects Rick Santorum's daughter, Bella). My son has the more rare 18q-. Only 1 in 40,000 Americans have Chromosome 18q-, which means that less than 7,800 Americans are affected by this disorder. 


Because of this disorder, Jacob has had serious medical and developmental issues. He has had heart surgery, kidney tract surgery, bronchoscopies and endoscopies, slept with an oxygen tube, and has had dozens of medical tests and sees numerous specialists. We've been in and out of hospitals and doctors' offices since he was three months old. He also has severe developmental delays and receives speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy and behavioral therapy. 


Raising a child with any disorder, condition or special need, is both a blessing and a challenge. A challenge for the obvious reasons, and a blessing because you don't know the depths of victory and joy until you see your child overcoming some of those challenges (sometimes while smiling like a goofy bear). 


Chances are that you know a special needs parent, or you may be one yourself. As a special needs parent, I often don't share my feelings on this aspect of my life, even with my closest friends, so I decided to compile a list here with the goal of building understanding (I was largely inspired by this beautiful post, authored by another parent to a child with a chromosomal disorder). I don't claim to speak for every special needs parent out there, but from the ones I know, some of these are pretty universal. If I've missed any, please leave a comment below. 


1. I am tired. Parenting is already an exhausting endeavor. But parenting a special needs child takes things to another level of fatigue. Even if I've gotten a good night's sleep, or have had some time off, there is a level of emotional and physical tiredness that is always there, that simply comes from the weight of tending to those needs. Hospital and doctors' visits are not just a few times a year, they may be a few times a month. Therapies may be daily. Paperwork and bills stack up, spare time is spent researching new treatments, positioning him to sit a certain way, advocating for him in the medical and educational system. This is not to mention the emotional toll of raising a special needs child, since the peaks and valleys seem so much more extreme for us. I am always appreciative of any amount of grace or help from friends to make my life easier, no matter how small, from arranging plans around my schedule and location, to watching my son while I am eating. 


2. I am jealous. It's a hard one for me to come out and say, but it's true. When I see a 1 year-old baby do what my son can't at 4 years-old (like walk), I feel a pang of jealousy. It hurts when I see my son struggling so hard to learn to do something that comes naturally to a typical kid, like chewing or pointing. It can be hard to hear about the accomplishments of my friend's kids. Sometimes, I just mourn inside for Jacob, "It's not fair." Weirdly enough, I can even feel jealous of other special needs kids who seem to have an easier time than Jacob, or who have certain disorders like Downs, or autism, which are more mainstream and understood by the public, and seem to offer more support and resources than Jacob's rare condition. It sounds petty, and it doesn't diminish all my joy and pride in my son's accomplishments. But often it's very hard for me to be around typical kids with him. Which leads me to the next point... 


3. I feel alone. It's lonely parenting a special needs child. I can feel like an outsider around moms of typical kids. While I want to be happy for them, I feel terrible hearing them brag about how their 2 year-old has 100 words, or already knows their ABCs (or hey, even poops in the potty). Good for them, but it's so not what my world looks like (check out Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid). It's been a sanity saver to connect with other special needs moms, with whom it's not uncomfortable or shocking to swap stories about medications, feeding tubes, communication devices and therapies. Even within this community, though, there is such variation in how every child is affected. Only I understand Jacob's unique makeup and challenges. With this honor of caring for him comes the solitude of the role. I often feel really lonely in raising him. 


4. I wish you would stop saying, "retarded," "short bus," "as long as it's healthy... " I know people usually don't mean to be rude by these comments, and I probably made them myself before Jacob. But now whenever I hear them, I feel a pang of hurt. Please stop saying these things. It's disrespectful and hurtful to those who love and raise the kids you're mocking (not to mention the kids themselves). As for the last comment, "as long as it's healthy," I hear a lot of pregnant women say this. Don't get me wrong, I understand and share their wishes for healthy babies in every birth, but it's become such a thoughtless mantra during pregnancy that it can feel like a wish against what my son is. "And what if it's not healthy?" I want to ask. (My response: you will be OK. You and your child will still have a great, great life.) 


5. I am human. I have been challenged and pushed beyond my limits in raising my son. I've grown tremendously as a person, and developed a soft heart and empathy for others in a way I never would have without him. But I'm just like the next mom in some ways. Sometimes I get cranky, my son irritates me, and sometimes I just want to flee to the spa or go shopping (and, um, I often do). I still have dreams and aspirations of my own. I travel, dance, am working on a novel, love good food, talk about dating. I watch Mad Men, and like a good cashmere sweater. Sometimes it's nice to escape and talk about all these other things. And if it seems that the rest of my life is all I talk about sometimes, it's because it can be hard to talk about my son. Which leads me to the final point... 


6. I want to talk about my son/It's hard to talk about about son. My son is the most awe-inspiring thing to happen to my life. Some days I want to shout from the top of the Empire State Building how funny and cute he is, or how he accomplished something in school (he was recently voted class president!). Sometimes, when I'm having a rough day, or have been made aware of yet another health or developmental issue, I might not say much. I don't often share with others, even close friends and family, the depths of what I go through when it comes to Jacob. But it doesn't mean that I don't want to learn how to share our life with others. One thing I always appreciate is whenever people ask me a more specific question about my son, like "How did Jacob like the zoo?" or "How's Jacob's sign language coming along?" rather than a more generalized "How's Jacob?" which can make me feel so overwhelmed that I usually just respond, "Good." Starting with the small things gives me a chance to start sharing. And if I'm not sharing, don't think that there isn't a lot going on underneath, or that I don't want to. 


Raising a special needs child has changed my life. I was raised in a family that valued performance and perfection above all else, and unconsciously I'd come to judge myself and others through this lens. Nothing breaks this lens more than having a sweet, innocent child who is born with impairments that make ordinary living and ordinary "performance" difficult or even impossible.


It has helped me understand that true love is meeting someone (child or adult, special needs or not) exactly where he or she is -- no matter how they stack up against what "should be." Raising a special needs child shatters all the "should bes" that we idolize and build our lives around, and puts something else at the core: love and understanding. So maybe that leads me to the last thing you don't know about a special needs parent... I may have it tough, but in many ways I feel really blessed.


Follow Maria Lin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/marialinnyc

Ahhhhhhh!

Bennett was just walking alongside a wall, let go of the wall, and took his first two steps!!!!!

Saturday Morning Sweetness